In March 2020 the Australian Government restricted haircuts to 30 minutes, making all women of Australia become more cognisant of the threadbare heads of our mostly male leaders. Clearly, it’d been a while since any of them had attempted a wash, colour, cut and blow-dry within half an hour. Even Daniel Ricciardo’s pit crew would struggle with the task. Thankfully the decision was soon reversed, no doubt when the gentlemen arrived home to their “less than happy wives” and realised they were in for “less than happy lives”.
Even though the decision was reversed, and hair salons went to extreme lengths to look after their clientele, many women took matters into their own hands, with varying degrees of success.
Over the years I’ve had the privilege of working with companies that design and market hair products. Through this I’ve learnt that the earliest shampoo was made by boiling soapberries with dried Indian gooseberries, lovely. Originally, soap and shampoo were very similar products maybe some of you remember your mother washing your hair with soap, no, just me then?
Anyway, during the early stages of shampoo, hair stylists would boil soap in water and add some herbs to give the hair fragrance. By 1927 liquid shampoo was invented by Hans Schwarzkopf. No doubt you’ll recognise the name as a brand still on the shelves today. What you may not know is that today there are some ten basic shampoo types, yes ten!. Clarifying shampoo, Everyday shampoo, Volumizing shampoo, Oily hair shampoo, Normal hair shampoo, Dry/Damaged hair shampoo, Colored hair shampoo, 2-in-1 shampoo and Medicated shampoo, phew. Combine that with the number of competing brands and you get some idea of the clutter in this space.
Given the dearth of products on the market, brands spend millions trying to differentiate their product. Most focus on health claims and unique packaging styles. A few go further, adding colour to the shampoo.
One of the most colourful hair care products is the purple toner. The blue-violet pigment adheres to the hair shaft and, being opposite orange on the colour wheel, the blue neutralises any brassy orange or yellow tones that can develop in gray or blonde hair.
In years gone by the purple toner was confined to “women of a certain age” … and Dame Edna. More recently however the toner has been used by a wider range of people. Swimmers trying to combat the chlorine yellow, blondes of any age and young women looking to make a fashion statement.
Personally, I’ve used the toner for years. Lately I try to convince myself that it’s to maintain my blonde highlights, rather than the flood of dull silver, cough ash blonde, creeping in.
The other day I discovered a potential design flaw.
Having washed my hair with the recommended 2 full teaspoons of shampoo I bent to retrieve the conditioner bottle from the shower floor.
The recent Covid buying environment meant I hadn’t been able to purchase my usual conditioner. The only thing left was a large black opaque unbranded bottle of conditioner that boasted a “fresh apple” fragrance. It would have to do.
As usual I poured a teaspoon of the purple toner fluid into my left hand. I squeeze in a generous dollop of the unbranded conditioner on top and immediately raised my hands to my head, lingering a little longer than usual to make sure I’d massaged in the combination. When I lowered my hands and saw the residual smeer I was perplexed.
The palms of my hands resembled a small Jason Pollock-esk swirl of merging colours. Tendrils of purple toner begged for survival from under a sea of lime green unbranded conditioner.
Any artist, or kindergarten teacher worth her salt, would appreciate my fear. This unusual combination of purple and green usually results in an unsatisfying dark greenish-brown. It was too late to undo the damage. The concoction had already bonded with my nutrient poor, dry hair.
As I washed my hair for a second and third time, there was only one thing to do. Give thanks to our follicle challenged leaders who’d also given us social isolating.
See you in a month.
For more short essays you might be interested in Wit and Wisdom, collection of previous essays. See Amazon.com or Amazon.com.au
