Mr Pricasso v porn stars at Sexpo

After all these years, consumer behaviour still manages to fascinate and surprise me.


© The Ponder Room





©The Ponder Room



Arriving at the show on Sunday I already felt sinful turning my back on a beautiful crisp, blue skied Perth morning to enter the dimly lite Perth Convention Centre. Still I pushed on.


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‘At $25 a ticket, more for the VIP tickets, if each car has 3 people in it that’s….well it’s a lot isn’t it? the organizer informed me.

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The answer – alternate between sitting sullenly staring straight ahead, talking to your minders, and jiggling …why? Just for the hell of it I guess, that and to get some value our of what must have been a massive silicone bill some years ago.

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In contrast there were huge queues all day for: the $2 Peep Show; the Bull Riding machines (less bull more human shaped, give or take an appendage or two); the Toy Store (which had the earlier warning sign out the front); the Bondage stand; the Seated Massage stand; Show Bag alley; and the hot chip stand. Even the stands for: The Australian Sex Party; Sore Feet rubber shoe inlays; and the discounted sheets stall had more of a following.
Who’d have thought?

At any Expo you’ll always find the obligatory make up and cleaning products stand. Even these were a little different, featuring body art and Helpful Hunks….I’ll talk about them in another post.

On the way to the stage area I bypassed the Strip Poker stall and another providing a myriad of outfits for bored couples, who think a few bits of fabric will solve all their problems.

‘We’re the number one provider of outfits, all very well made, and in size 6, sex, to fworrre 24’, the stall owner informed me in great detail.

Reaching the stage I was soon watching a trapeze act that showed why Cirque De Solaire is so revered, followed by a series of Burlesque performers. These were followed by a routine from a particularly friendly couple of women, which I thought might have started a mass exodus of the male population to have a little alone time, but to their credit they found the strength to remain.

 

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While this was all very interesting the most fascinating aspect was the comments I overheard. With the abundance of flesh and silicon at every turn, I was amazed that the talk wasn’t about the international porn stars, nor the girls/guys putting it all on the line onstage, on and off poles. No all the gossip was about Mr Pricasso.

Mr Pricasso appeared to be a gentleman who bypassed the midlife crisis sports car and second wife approach, instead going straight to the idea of drawing portraits using his appendage, and doing so in public. Seriousl! Couple after couple sat down while he painted their portraits.

‘He could at least wear a shirt’ one girl commented

‘Why bother’ her partner retaliated.

‘You’d have to be at your lowest wouldn’t ya?’ asked another guy.

As a member of the Australian Cartoonists Association I always check out which artist is working at any Expo I attend, and I can safely say that I’ve never known any ACA member to take this approach…thankfully. But knowing how much they struggle just to make a living, it’s a bit surprising someone hadn’t considered it, particularly as based on this audience his act clearly has pulling power (sorry about that).

Not long after this and suffering severe brain overload, I decided it was time to go home. Outside the sky was grey and the chuch bells rang out loudly as I drove up St Georges Terrace. Hmmmm was that a sign, or a warning maybe? Thankfully I’ve already got a plan of redemption in place for the next few weeks. I think I’ll be okay, after all life is all about balance…isn’t it?

On the drive home I pondered:

1. How the car park manager was coping given that at 3pm he was already racing around battling broken parking machines, even before the night crowd came in. I hate to think what he’ll do when the patrons add further frustration to their already raised levels.
2. Would I ever see the Sexpo mascots running in the AFL Grand Final mascot race? ….probably not. 
3. Any struggling artist knows that it’s essential to thoroughly clean ones equipment so as to avoid buying new brushes, but just how long would Mr Pricasso take to clean his tools? I assumed it was water based paint and not oils….well lets hope so.