It’s been well documented that the period directly after horizontal folk dancing is often filled with contemplation, especially if the dance was spontaneous, and more at the standard of Dancing With The Stars, than the Bolshoi Ballet.
So it was inevitable that post the sights of Sexpo (see post Mr Pricasso) my grey matter was fired up refusing to calm down regardless of how many hours were spent ommmmming. Consequently less than 24 hours later I found myself pondering evolution and giraffes, like you do.
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| Thanks to Adam Foster |
They say that in search of better foliage, horse-like creatures stretched ever upward to reach the best leaves, their necks elongating until they surpassed those of Maasai Warriors. The result…giraffes.
It was with these images in mind that my thoughts turned to the fate of teenage boys.
According to recent health statistics teenage boys are growing taller and taller. No doubt Kellogg’s, or some other breakfast cereal manufacturer, would like to take credit for this, spruking a Weetbix fueled growth spurt. However I think I uncovered the real reason at Sexpo.
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© The Ponder Room
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As more and more teenage girls totter on sky high heels, the plight of the average-sized boy looks doomed. If natural selection holds true, then the cute but stature-challenged lad, would have to have a Robin Williams or Jim Carey like sense of humour to even get a look in.
Scores of good looking short boys would be left to look for an alternative…I’ll leave you to ponder on the possibilities.
I can see a few organisations who would be happy about this though. No doubt the NBA would be delighted about the vast ocean of new talent available to them.
So too physiotherapists and podiatrists called in to fix cleanched toes and dislocated shoulders of young girls who find themselves walking home barefoot, carrying said shoes over their shoulder, on the way home from one too many Melbourne Cup celebrations.
However I’m not so sure that movie goers who find themselves seated behind the elongated youth of the nation would be so enamored. Nor car manufacturers who find themselves with an abundance of micro cars that no one can fit into.
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| Thanks to Robin Hutton |
But what troubles me more is:
- What happens when they get home and the girls take off their shoes to reveal their true height? Is all communication rendered useless as the girls find themselves talking to the boys navel?
- Is Dr Phil aware of this trend and already plotting his new book…. Boys Navels and How To Tell If They’re Lying – Chapter 1: If they’re open they’e lying – Chapter 2: If they’ve got fluff they’re trying to cover up something……
- What happens when the fashion trend goes retro, as it has a habit of doing every few years, and the teenage girls revert back to flats and bobby sock? Will we see a nation of Quasimodo boys? Or will we see an entirely new species develop that is less giraffe and more long neck tortoise. Now that’s something to ponder.
