Before the Federal election vanishes altogether I thought it might be wise to take a moment and ponder some of the lessons learned this year. That way we can be prepared for when the next one rolls around in three years’ time, or earlier if history is anything to go by. To my mind the election taught us three things, the importance of timing, social media and having a unique personal brand.
thanks to Edgar Cook
In the countdown to the election our televisions and newspapers were festooned with the usual debates about health, education and tax reform, amongst others. After a while the comments all blended into a mind-numbingly grey suited haze, until it was inevitably dubbed the most boring election ever. Who can blame us for losing interest, especially when the leaders and deputy leaders of both parties morph into one similar presidential persona.
Now when I say similar I mean exactly the same, in their crisp tailored suits, short, neat haircuts and drop pearl earrings, that’s Julia and Tanya not Malcom and Bill incase you were wondering, though a touch of cross dressing would certainly have made the coverage more interesting. If not for Julia’s well documented ‘assassin’s stare’ and Bills ‘deer in traffic lights’ blink, I could easily have mixed up which leader or deputy was professing what. Hopefully by the next election one of the parties might have commissioned Boy George’s tailor to take a rummage through their wardrobe, (notice I said wardrobe not closet), and suggest something to eradicate the blandness.
Aside from presenting a professional image, albeit the same one, everyone knows that the timing of an election is critical. I for one couldn’t have been more delighted with the July 2nd date.
For starters the date coincided with the beginning of the winter school holidays over here in the West. As dictated by the modern day rule of ‘keeping up with the Kardashians’, two thirds of Perth families with school age children would be compelled to flee the metropolitan area. Reminiscent of Pavlov’s hound salivating at the sound of a bell, the majority of Perth families would be found lining up for flight 777 to Bali, after the final school siren had tolled. Those less concerned about international travel trends would gather their brood for a Griswold-esk vacation to Broome, or if they’d been hit by the Retrenchment Fairy that seems to have taken up residence in W.A. … Yanchep. Either way this would result in one thing, fewer people at the metropolitan polling stations. The positive flow on effect was obvious, particularly on social media.
Unlike previous elections when strangers would stand mute amongst a trail of grumpy voters, this year they took to social media to tweet about their voting experience. Whether triggered by hours of watching MasterChef or My Kitchen Rules I’m not sure, but the hashtag #democracysausage was born. My favourite tweets under this hashtag were:
John Johnsonson who tweeted that ‘voting is like going to a hardware store. You stand in line, eat a hot dog, and end up with a few tools that don’t work.’
ReviewAustFiction who considered the sausage a symbol of democracy considering it was made of ‘pigs anuses, ground hooves and intestines.’
Or the text from Shopgirl who lamented that since she’d found $2 on the floor she could ‘afford a democracy sausage despite working in the Arts’.
The hashtag was soon trending across the nation. At Gladesville Public School in NSW they boasted a sausage sizzle, bacon rolls and a cupcake stall. Meanwhile somewhere called Queanbeyan was offering ‘vegan and gluten free snags’ suggesting it may be near Byron. Those not into meat could settle for a democracy cupcake.
There was even a website www.electionsausagesizzle.com.au and a map showing which polling booths were offering the delectable morsels. At one stage the map suggested that Western Australia had 104 such booths, third only to New South Wales (236) and Victoria (190). Meanwhile the ACT only had 39, which was behind Queensland (88) and only marginally better than South Australia (35). Tasmania boasted 16 and if you could find the one sausage sizzle listed for the Northern Territory consider yourself lucky.
Soon it was trending internationally and an Australian voting in Bangkok tweeted about a democracy grilled banana.
At the same time another hashtag was gaining momentum, #dogsatpollingstations. The internet became riddled with Westies displaying red collars, Kelpies in Greens t shirts, disappointed looking Golden Retrievers, whose growing paunches meant they missed out on a democracy sausage, and one particularly worried looking sausage dog. And perhaps in a nod to political correctness, the late addition of several surly looking cats under the hashtag #catsforrepresentativedemocracy.
thanks to Glenn Brown
Timing is important in the world of social media where trends ebb and flow within milliseconds. Clearly one of the hip young marketing consultants working with Bill Shorten was onto the trend. Sadly though social media can be a cruel mistress, and when their charge was filmed eating his democracy sausage from the middle, an action quickly deemed unAustralian, the strategy backfired. Was this the real reason for his lower numbers?
One tweeter named GoodsirSays was more forgiving aligning equality and democracy with the ‘freedom to eat your sausage sanger from either end or the middle.’
Voting over it was time for the count and another lesson in timing for future elections.
Having sat through way too many mind-numbing election nights, I was thrilled to find that this years most boring night of television coincided with not one but two major sporting events.
An election count interspersed with the grunts of Wimbledon and skin grazing of the Tour de France made the whole torturous experience go down as enjoyably as a chargrilled sausage in a bun covered with lashing of fried onions, mustard and tomato sauce. Perhaps this is where Brexit went wrong?
