Recently while watching a reality show I became obsessed with one of the participants lips. Every time she came on screen, I found myself staring at her philtrum, that are between hee nose and top lip. I know medical science says this area “has no apparent function” but I think this might be changing. It would make a fine place to rest an olive, should you find your hands full at a cocktail party.
Thanks to the plethora of reality shows I can now pick augmented lips a mile away. Actually, if you can pick a set of lips a mile away, I’d suggest the owner report their surgeon to the AMA, but I digress.
This newfound fascination had been heading to google to understand more about a world that had always been foreign to me.
Evidently way back when, doctors would use fat to reconstruct the lips of people with tuberculosis. Who knew lip fillers started from such a noble position?
By the 1900’s the tide had turned towards for cosmetic enhancement and by the 1960’s liquid silicone was used to plump up lips for the first time. Twenty years on and the silicone was replaced with bovine collagen, yes bovine, cows. Mind you now that I think about it, I’ve never seen a cow bereft of a plump set of lips. Well, come on, have you?
Still if cows don’t float your boat there’s always hyaluronic acid. I don’t know what that is but surely anything with the word “acid” attached can’t be good and shouldn’t be injected into one’s person?
By 2016 it was reported that lip augmentation had become the most popular non-surgical cosmetic treatment. In 2018 the dermal filler market was valued at 2.5 billion US dollars.
Clearly, lip fillers have moved beyond being a fad, and it would take something monumental to stop people embracing the needle and for the industry not to reach the projected 6.3 billion US dollars by 2026.
Enter CoVid-19. The virus that resulted in the closure of beauty salons across the world. How would people get on?
Some of you may recall the shot glass challenge that did the rounds on social media. Perhaps that’s an option people could consider.
Alternatively, I believe there are special lip suction pumps that increase the blood pressure in each lip. I know what you’re thinking. Stop looking at the vacuum cleaner.
Another report stated that people can fill their lips with fat deposits that have been harvested from other parts of their body. Gives new meaning to the phrase “you can kiss my butt”.
So, when we’re allowed to get close enough to each other to hug, I suggest limiting yourself to air kisses. Who knows what depths your stunning new beau or Aunt Mertle have gone to in their quest for the perfect pout? Those luscious, moist, bee sting lips could have you kissing cow, or butt fat.
Stop press: No cows were harmed in the making of this post. And as always The Ponder Room is not liable for any actions taken after reading this information. Like I said, put down that vacuum cleaner nozzle.
For more short essays you might be interested in Wit and Wisdom, a collection of earlier essays. See Amazon.com or Amazon.com.au
