A Seven Step Sales Approach to Mother’s Day

Last Friday and Saturday I found myself ensconced at the National Achievers Congress 2013, listening to the likes of Richard Branson, and The Apprentice’s Mark Bouris, fascinating speakers. Supporting them was a raft of personal growth experts, all with a book, DVD or workshop on ‘offer’. After roughly 20 hours in a cold, canvernous room, listening to ‘motivational’ speeches echo off the walls, I woke up to realise it was Sunday, Mothers Day. Late Sunday afternoon as I bid farewell to my parents I pondered … maybe the Congress had more of an affect on me than I thought … see what you think?

National Achievers Congress 2013 © 2013 The Ponder Room

12.00 noon.

There was a knock on my front door, my parents had arrived. Throwing open the door I proclaimed, ‘quickly, quickly come in, come in, take a seat we’re about to start. You don’t want to miss this, we’re going to have a World Class Mother’s Day. Come, come, quickly.’

As I showed them to their seats in the dining room I asked three rapid fire questions, each designed to elicit a positive response …

‘Do you want a drink, hands up, yes or yes?’

‘Here try these chilli peanuts they’re really good, true or true?’

‘How’s your day been, hands up, good or good?’

By the third question I thought I saw Mum’s hand waiver slightly in her lap. Things were going well. Drinks in hand, my parents started to tell me about their week, but after two minutes I’d lost concentration and interrupted.

‘Turn to the person next to you and say ‘this is going to be the best Mother’s Day yet’.

Bewildered they both just looked at me blankly until I said …

Richard Branson © 2013 The Ponder Room

‘I’d like to tell you a story, can I tell you a story?.’

They both nodded, slowly.

‘Good’, I continue speaking faster than a Biggest Loser contestant trying to legitimise the packet of donuts secreted under their bed.

‘This morning, I went to the shops to pick up the prawns, but I couldn’t find a parking spot. I drove around and around, searching, searching, searching. But couldn’t see anything in front of me, I was lost in the endless car park of my life.’

‘I didn’t think I was going to get out and then …(pause for effect) … just as I was about to give up all hope … a man appeared before me… (using soft ‘lovers’ voice) … a stranger. He bent down to my window and said … ‘what you’re looking for is down there, keep going and you will find what you seek’. Thanking the man I set off on the path he suggested only to find a car reversing out of a parking space. Just when I was about to give up all hope, I got a park, I listened to the stranger and I got what I was seeking. I got the park, got the prawns and was back home within an hour… was that good or good?’

Mum’s hand waivered again, but I continued.

‘If I hadn’t met that man I don’t know how today would have turned out. I was in the right place at the right time and more importantly I was open to any opportunities that might’ve come along. Are you open to opportunities, yes or yes?’

Mum put her head down, slowly raised her glass, took a sip and secretly looked at dad.

‘So let me tell you about what I’ve got to offer you today’ I continued ‘you’re going to love it. Here are the top five things we’re going to have for lunch. Number 1 a prawn broth, number 2 chicken pie, number 3 potatoes, number 4 mixed vegetables, peas and carrots. But that’s not all you get, number 5 chocolate cake for dessert. All up that’s a value of around $100. Does that sound good or good?’

© 2013 The Ponder Room

Dad put down his glass, stood up and started pacing around the room.

‘Not yet Dad you’re too early.’ I said taking him by the shoulders and directing him back to his seat. ‘Usually it costs $3,000 to spend a day with me, but today you get my time free, free … good or good? Hands up good or good?’

Mum, having spent years placating me, reluctantly raised her hand in the air. She knew that the only way to get through this was to go along with it.


‘And I’m going to give you something unique. For today only you get this badly wrapped present and … a card. A card that I’ve searched high and low for to make sure it will illicit just the right amount of tears at first read.’

‘The whole package usually costs $3,100 but for today, for Perth mothers only I’m giving you a special offer. Not only do you get all this but now it’s for two people, yes you can bring a family member along, but it must be a family member’, I emphasised loudly in my warrior voice, ‘yes Dad you can come too. That’s $3,100 for two people.’

Mum turned to Dad, a weak smile crossing her face.

‘So the whole package is … prawns, chicken, potatoes, veg, a badly wrapped present, a soppy card and Dad can come too. But. This offer is only available to the first person who makes it over to the kitchen table …and if you make it there within the next two minutes, it’s …(pause for effect, take out a piece of paper and scribble down a figure, then turn the paper around) … $199, go, go, go.’  I yelled.

Mum leaned a little closer to Dad, the two of them whispering about something. Then Mum stood and I thought this is good, yes, I followed the process and I’m going to close the deal.

‘Why don’t you have a seat dear,’ said Mum, ‘I’ll get the pie out of the oven, you have a rest.’

… or at least I think that’s how it went.

How am I going to tell them that I’m going to a Real Estate Investment Seminar in a few weeks?

Word of warning: Don’t schedule any significant meetings, dinners or family events for at least 24 hours after you’ve been a personal growth seminar or you may find your next personal development session involves several little men in white coats.