In summer I reassured myself it was too hot, and winter had me pretending to lament the fact it was too wet. Sadly though todays beautifully sunny conditions meant there was no excuse. Hours spent watching The Block, and the global success of a certain book by E.L. James, had me pondering whether grey is indeed the new black. If so then the wall bordering the front of my property is definitely on trend, woohoo. However there comes a point when the ‘distressed’ look can no longer be passed off as a décor choice, it’s just … embarrassing and needs to be repainted.
Retrieving the discarded paint tin I was pleased to see it contained more than enough liquid to complete the task. At least I didn’t have to spend hours trying to match various shades of … midnight grey, iceberg grey, ‘half sucked liquorice grey, or ‘my sanity will cease to exist if I have to compare another shade of grey’ … grey. With a new brush and my ipod in situ it began well.
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| thankfully my wall isn’t this big. thanks to Eole |
Several hours later however I was well and truly over it, and my mind started to ponder an easier way. The winning idea was:
Step 1: Replace the brush with a roller and attach said roller to a long handle;
Step 2: Dress head to toe in an extra-large black rubbish bin liner;
Step 3: Adopt a warrior stance, roller at the ready, cap pointing forwards not backwards;
Step 4: Convince a friend to stand on a ladder behind the wall with the paint can at the ready;
Step 5: Signal him or her to start pouring the paint down the wall while moving to the right;
Step 6: Frantically roller up and down while moving to the right catching the flow and smoothing it out as best possible.
After a few more hours I pondered …
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I guess this is why the female partners tend not to do the painting on The Block?
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Is this how Picasso started his ‘drippy paint’ period? Was he just over painting all the detail?
One thing’s for sure. As I look down at my paint spattered hands I won’t be racing out to buy a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey for at least six months.
3 Comments
Is your iPod now grey too?
And thank your dodgy wall that it may prevent you from spending money on Fifty Shades of Grey. Totally badly written. Mine is abandoned mid-way.
iPod survived, it was quivering in my pocket.
Is that right? So what would that make it Twenty Five shades of puce?
Shame you saw the wall at it’s worst. Although maybe it was the best … I found a photo that looked like my wall ‘pre-sprucing’ and it was marked ‘all rights reserved’!! Who knew my ‘distressed’ wall should have been photographed.
Haha, very clever.